cleaning house

when everything i'd saved
became too heavy to carry
i cleaned house
knowing if i didn't i'd fall in the road
unable to rise
i put the moon on the table
along with every star i'd ever wished on
ripped the ring from my heart
and put that there too
got on a ladder
and pulled out the all the spotlights
illuminating nothing but loss
leaving the wires exposed
useless legs dangling
bent and broken from the ceiling
then climbed down
and tore into the closet of dreams
all those ancient, ragged lies
stuffed higgledy-piggledy into
a nebulous jumble of nothing
the table was overcrowded
but i was relentless
the jewel box was next
all those seed pearls
tears strung on silver
the false glitter of a golden bracelet
a gift i never wore
but when i found the rope of amethysts
i couldn't toss it on the pile
the polished purple smooth on my fingertips
i threw it round my neck
pandora will always be my middle name
now weighted with nothing but hope
i took a long look at the sad army
of what could never be

heaped in a mountain of glorious disarray
and swept it into my last paper bag
then outside
barefoot in the rain
put it in the always-hungry trashcan
slammed the lid
and for the first time in too long
walked upright back into my life

​

​

​

working from home

​

in the gloom
of an already
damaged day
i unplugged
the computer and the phone
then hollowed out by
exhaustion
sat in the corner
rocking chair
away from
all the windows with a book
i wasn’t reading
in my lap
as i waited for
lightning wind
and rain to
deliver the spring mayhem
promised by those in
the know with
one eye on the sky
the other on
the radar
as they track the progress of
erratic nature
but though the
day darkened and a
smattering
of raindrops
slid lazily down the panes
i saw no lightning
heard no wind
as time ticked away
silently
becoming
the past it was clear there would
be no excitement

and though i
was glad we’d dodged this
bullet i
also lost
every excuse for my own
lack of ambition
and sighing
put aside the book
i wasn’t
reading plugged
in the electronics and
put on the harness